Day 10 - Love is Unconditional

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse. Demonstrate love to him for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

Last week when I was doing my daily sweep after dinner my husband said, "When are you going to mop this floor?" I gave him a dirty look and said, "When are you going to bring up the laundry." I pile up laundry in baskets at the bottom of the stairs and his job is to carry them upstairs. Most nights he just steps over it. I hate when he tells me to do something. I'm not his maid.

So today I figured I'd mop the floor since I hate doing it. Well, he comes home in the middle of me doing it and he says, "Why can't you mop when they are in bed or before you go to sleep?" What! Why would I want to clean when I'm so tired? I'm just fuming mad now.

I also cooked Chicken Parm (his favorite meal) for him and he hasn't even eaten it yet as he stormed out of the room because I was doing the floor. I also called his mother to see if she could watch the kids for our anniversary so we could go out to dinner.

I also had a bad day with my son today. He on numerous occasions said, "Mommy I want you to die." So hurtful. I sit here crying wondering if he really meant it? My youngest daughter also copied him and said it to me when I told her she couldn't play with some toy. How do I deal with all this hatred in my house?

Day 9 - Love Makes Good Impressions

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Well, this was an easy day for me. Why? Well, my husband and I always kiss in the morning when we wake up. We also kiss when he leaves for work and when he comes home. I sometimes get a hug too and if the kids aren't looking I may even get a pinch on my ass. It's always fun and playful. The kisses aren't long because most of the time the kids are either hanging on me or crowding around him and we are always in a rush to go somewhere. I always look forward to our little smooches.

Day 8 - Love is Not Jealous

Determine to become your Spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. Take his negative attributes and burn it. Then share how glad you are about a success he has had.

10. inpatient
9. workaholic
8. moody
7. lazy
6. jealous
5. sloppy
4. hypochondria
3. short temper
2. unreliable
1. antisocial

Okay, since I didn't write them on paper I wrote them on my blog. I tried to cross them out but there is no option here on how to do that. So I am making them tiny and hard to see.

My husband's biggest accomplishment is owning his own business. He is a hardworker. He works 24/7 to provide for us. We did manage to get this house in better times even though now we are struggling to maintain it.

Lately he has been taking breaks from his work and spending time with me and the family attending baseball games, dance and eating dinner together. We are still working on the family participation.

Taking a Break

This weekend has been a bit crazy with T-ball games and dance recitals. So I'm going to take a break from the love dare.

The good news is he's been going to a weekly t-ball game on Saturdays and the dance recital tomorrow. It's nice when he finally does some family activities instead of working all the time and yes, I did tell him so.

Will start up again where I left off probably on Monday.

Day 7 - Love Believes the Best

Positive Things About My Spouse
1. honest
2. intelligent
3. loyal
4. hard worker
5. loving
6. provider
7. sexy
8. handsome
9. funny
10. knowledgeable



Negative Things About My Spouse
10. inpatient
9. workaholic
8. moody
7. lazy
6. jealous
5. sloppy
4. hypochondria
3. short temper
2. unreliable
1.



It was easier to make the negative list. I guess my thoughts have been very negative towards my spouse for years now. I thanked him for being such a great provider. With all his hard work it allowed us to go shopping today. The kids each got new pairs of sandals and I did the clearance rack and got some shirts for $1.50 at Old Navy. If he wasn't a good provider we wouldn't be able to get our new items.

Day 6 = Love is Not Irritable

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below or areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Today started out really good. I got up earlier than the children and took a shower. I came down to make them breakfast and had it ready for them when they woke up. But after that it all went down hill. We rushed off to dance school only to find while we were half way there Naomi forgot her shoes. So we had to turn around and come back home. When I pulled up in the driveway my husband was on his way out. He asked what happened and I was so irritated I screamed back, "she forgot her shoes" ran in the house to grab them and then rushed back in the car.

Later in the day I got a text from my husband, "Hope u have a better day and good luck with the school later love". Now, wasn't that nice.

The rest of my day went like this: we stopped at Duncan Donuts and was at gymnastics early. We had to leave gymnastics earlier than usual to get to the high school for kindergarten testing. My plan was to sit and read a magazine while the triplets were being tested. They took Justin first. Then they took Naomi. When it was time to take Victoria she clung to my leg and cried. They tried everything to get her into the room to be tested with no luck. I wound up going in the room with her sitting on the side while listening to all the questions. Some of which I didn't even know the answers to.

When we got home I allowed them to play outside a bit. They took out their bikes and other toys but when it was time for them to come in the house I had to fight with them to carry all their toys back in. My blood pressure rose and I had to just lay down to calm down. Then it was time to cook dinner. We ate and finally Evan arrived home. He took the kids and tucked them in for the night. At this point I was so exhausted that I laid down for a nap but that nap turned to 5 hours of sleep. I woke up at 1 am at the time my husband was going to bed. We did manage to have some sex but now I'm wide awake.

I need to add margin in my life by letting some things go. Saying no and not over extend my schedule so that I'm stressed with the day. I need to find something to do with my husband. I already asked him about finding a TV show to watch together or movie or something. We were watching LOST together but now that he's going on the treadmill and watching it by himself I am now 7 episodes behind. Will we ever have something to watch again together?

Sorry for the rambling. It's now 2:52 am and I really need to get back to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Day 5 - Love is Not Rude

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that makes him irritated about you.

He's working today so I text him the following:

Thinking. Name 3 things that irritates you about me. Be honest. I won't get mad.

My husband responds with:

Babe, it wouldn't matter even if there was =)
(yes, he did include the smiley at the end of this sentence).

I actually cried when I read his message. Yes, tears actually came down my face. We get so busy in our lives that we forget to stop and smell the roses and tell each other that we love each other. Most days I feel more like roommates than anything else as we pass each other through the day.

I wrote him back:

You are so sweet, I love you.

Later in the day, I text him again:

Have I told you today that I love you. You are my everything. xoxoxo

(that is our wedding song You Are My Everything.")

His response:

Love you too. xoxo

Hey, u ok?

I guess I went a little overboard. Hope he doesn't figure out what I'm up to in only 5 days.

Day 4 - Love is Thoughtful

Contact your spouse sometime during the day to see how he's doing and if there is anything you can do for him.

Well, my husband is working today. So I have to rely on my cell phone to text him. Since I ran out of the house without saying goodbye as I was running late for the MOPs meeting I text him the following: "Have a great day. Love you. Kiss Kiss". His response was, "You too Lover xoxoxo." Later in the day I text him again, "Going to shoprite do you want anything?" I always tell him when I'm going food shopping as he always has a list of items he wants me to pick up for him.

We normally use our cell phone to text each other during the day. Some days we will get dirty and send love notes back and forth. It always leads to sex in the evening. Today wasn't one of those days though. He came home a little stressed from work and has a conference call to deal with as well.

I'm exhausted it's time for bed.

Day 3 - Love Is Not Selfish

Buy your spouse something that say's "I was thinking of you."

First off let me just say we are dirt poor at this moment. We are struggling to pay our bills and living pay check to pay check. So today I actually spent no money at all because mainly we don't have any to spend.

It's memorial day. I took the kids to march in the parade. My husband stayed home to a peaceful quite house and slept while we were out. When I returned I was exhausted from walking in the parade and so we all took naps. I know, big mistake. Why? Because they wouldn't go to sleep at their bed time and actually stayed up till 9 when normally they go to bed like 7:30.

At one point in the day my husband said, "If I cook you dinner, will you give me something later in the day we haven't done it all weekend?" Well, I'm just exhausted. Luckily I took a nap so had energy after the kids went to bed to finally have and enjoy sex.

This is a photo of the dinner that he made me and the kids. It had chocolate chips in it. Very yummy.

Well, tomorrow he goes off to work so it's back to a regular work day.

Day 2 - Love is Kind

Do one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

I let him sleep in really late keeping the kids downstairs and quiet. While he was sleeping I made him coffee. Usually he makes the coffee. So when he finally woke up I gave him a morning kiss and told him that coffee was made. He was a bit surprised that I made it for him. Also while he was sleeping I prepared dinner. We are having Santa Fe Chicken from the crockpot.

Later in the day lunch time. I was making mac and cheese for the kids. Naomi was fighting me saying she didn't want mac and cheese. So Evan asked her what she wanted. She wanted grilled cheese. He volunteered to make her grilled cheese along with one for me and finished my mac and cheese without me asking.

Is he reading the same book?

Day 1 - Love is Patient

Resolve to say nothing negative to your spouse. If the temptation arises choose to say nothing.

This morning the kids let us sleep in late. It was about 8:30 am when we finally woke up. Without saying a word both of us used the bathroom. While I was in the bathroom my husband came down and surprised us with making us breakfast. I told him thank you and gave him a little kiss. I started to do our laundry while he cooked us french toast and coffee. After he fed the kids and me, he had to go to work. I again said, "thank you" and gave him a kiss before he left the room to go into the basement. A very pleasant morning.

In the afternoon he came up and suggested he would cook us a BBQ dinner. I don't use the BBQ. That's his job. So I said will you go to the store to get some meat to grill and he actually said yes. It's been months or maybe years since we went grocery shopping together. We put the kids in the scrunchie playhouse and off we went shopping together. It was a fast trip but enjoyable as we looked at pricing of items and tried to get the best deals. Did I mention I went to the store with no coupons? We did manage to save $20 in price plus though.

At home we cooked together. He prepared the meat and I cut up the veggies. Each time while passing each other we kissed and one time I gave him a high-five telling him that it was great teamwork and I enjoyed the day. While he grilled, I watered our veggie garden and the kids enjoyed some time on the swings. He did get a bit inpatient when the kids were fighting and raising their voices outside. I bit my tongue and let him scold them. While deep inside I wanted to say, see this is what I go through each and every day. Welcome to my world. But I kept quiet and just enjoyed him taking control for a change.

All in all it was a great day and nothing I would have done differently.

40 Day Love Dare - Fireproof

I finally got a chance to watch the movie "Fireproof" that was recommended by Joyce from my MOPS group. I have had it since it was released from Netflix but never had the chance to watch it until tonight. Unfortunately, my husband refused to watch it saying it was a chick flick. While watching the movie I thought about my own marriage. No, we don't fight but we do have some issues about him not helping out. I know that will never change but I can always change the way I think about it and react to it. I just downloaded the book, "40 Day Love Dare". I plan to take the journey and see if things improve. It couldn't hurt but only help.

Now, these three remain:
Faith, Hope and Love
But the greatest of these is LOVE.
1 Corinthians 13:13

And so my journey will begin tomorrow with Day 1.

This is my photo of the day for project 365. It's a photo of me and my husband taken back in June 1995.